PASSAGE - experience of laying in a field staring at the sky as a child.

Spread eagle, I lay with my back to the damp grass staring at the clouds in the blue ceiling of the earth. Combing blades of grass with small fingers I grip tightly like a small monkey holding tightly to her mother's hair. When I lay back like this, I am vulnerable and open. My eyes only see upward and anyone can approach me without my really knowing. I think that one goes to the desert when they need to contemplate, and there are no friends to be trusted anymore. Only your enemies or those who truly love you would endeavor to find you in such desolation, and you can see either coming from far away. The woods are good to meditate when you feel strong in your isolation and are prepared to meet the power of life and the power of destruction as well. Liberation can be found at times in this surrender to the moment in the field, to my humanity, to the world.

The breeze is gentle and feels loving. This moment in my memories strikes me hard at times as it was so vivid, so phenomenal. I never enjoyed looking for pictures in the clouds, though I am easily amused when they present themselves. It would seem one cannot wait too long before a rabbit, or a hippo or some unexpected thing is suddenly staring back down at you smiling. The arc of the sky is what draws my attention. Certainly, if I stare for awhile I marvel at how clearly the curve of the earth can be seen and wonder how for so long it went unobserved? To think that a man one day tried to discuss such a concept and was...

Closing my eyes, my body fused with the ground and after time I could feel the hum shake with strength. Though shocking and upsetting, I did not break from the strange sensation. It was a tremor and I gripped the grass more tightly. Assuaging my fear, I felt a part of the earth and realized the hum was the turning of the earth. Many years later I heard that babies experienced the sensation after having lived in water for those many months. Palpable and powerful it can be felt, we are conditioned to ignore it, but it is there. So strong was this feeling that when opening my eyes, the clouds passing across the curved blue palate spun my mind and the earth with such movement, that I feared I may fly from the ground. Suddenly the sky was not so deep, and the air thin, and clinging to this orb like a droplet affixed as dew to a web that does not fall when shaken. So easily the sky seemed as a shallow pool I could jump into and then explore to mysterious deep of the ocean's darkness in space. How precious, how astounding this vapor protects and nourishes us.